Dating Felicity Smoak
by spicehnoodles
Summary: RULES IN DATING FELICITY SMOAK: *Rule #1: Do not hurt her. *(If one violates this rule, a special meeting with her bodyguards will be arranged, post-haste.)


**Season 1 –**

"He's late. I can't believe it."

"I just want to punch him."

"Felicity would never forgive you. Hell, she would never forgive the _both _of us if she finds out we're doing this behind her back."

"I just feel like that bastard needs a little more _understanding_."

After two minutes, frantic footsteps rushed over to their area.

The man visibly gulped at the sight of two incredibly muscled men with their arms crossed over their chests. He began shaking as he slowly slid into the booth across the terrifying men.

Oliver Queen appraised the man from head to torso intently. He took in the way the man's hand trembled as he grabbed the glass of water and took two large gulps.

"So — ," the man began with a nervous smile.

"That was my glass," Oliver informed him.

The man stiffened and stared with wide eyes at the glass. His mouth sputtered open, babbling out incoherent words meant to serve as apologies.

_Lacks punctuality_, the vigilante noted mentally. _No boundaries._

For the past four nights, Felicity left the Foundry pretty early. Oliver usually didn't mind where she headed if the night wasn't busy, but on the third night he got curious — most especially when her outfits transformed from quirky cardigans and panda flats to halter tops and sinful stilettos.

Oliver swore to protect her ever since she joined his crusade, so he couldn't help but check up on the man she was "seeing." Apparently the man was an accountant at Queen Consolidated and had no criminal records to hold against him.

At one point, Felicity arrived at the Foundry disgruntled and perhaps a bit disappointed.

Oliver had a new mission now.

Initially, Diggle was against his mission. He didn't want to intrude in their main girl's private affairs. However, one night Felicity got a text message that got her fuming and she left without a word. That changed Diggle's decision instantly.

"You know who I am, Warren?" Oliver asked, looking straight through the nervous man's eyes.

Warren nodded fast. "Y-Yes, Mr. Queen!" he exclaimed.

"I'm your boss."

"Well, _technically_, Mr. Steele's — "

_Smartass_, he noted next.

Oliver interrupted him, "It was my father's company, passed down to Walter in my absence, yes. However, the company is under _my _family's name, which makes me your boss, as well, Warren."

"R-R-Right, yes! I apologize — "

"You work in QC's accounting firm, and that's two floors above IT." He decided to get to the point, fast. "Surely you must've come across Felicity Smoak? She's a valuable employee of QC."

Warren's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Yes … I have, Mr. Queen. What does she have to do — ?"

"I don't normally interfere in my employees' personal affairs, but since I value Miss Smoak's role in the company highly, well, I had no choice." Without preamble, he added, "I heard you two have gone on a couple of dates."

The man hesitated in replying before he saw Diggle raise an eyebrow at him. "Just a couple, yes, Mr. Queen. Um, did Felicity — ?"

"Miss Smoak," Oliver corrected. "We are discussing your involvement with Miss Smoak professionally, so it'd be best if you referred to her as such."

Ironically, the meeting place Oliver set up was at Big Belly Burger.

Oliver saw Diggle giving him a look that screamed for him to finally get to the main point, which he was getting to already, so maybe Diggle should _let him handle this_.

"Warren," Oliver accidentally spoke harshly. "It has come to my attention that you have been treating Miss Smoak unfairly. I am unaware of the details of your actions toward her, but I _am_ aware of the repercussions. If your attitude toward Miss Smoak does not cease, I'm afraid we'll have to terminate your position in Queen Consolidated."

Warren's face paled. "Wh-_What_? Mr. Queen, I've been working for your company for three years! I — I've never once gotten any negative reports until _now_. What did Felicity — I mean, _Miss Smoak _— say about me?"

The vigilante grew agitated at the last question as if _Warren _hadn't done anything to Felicity. He caught sight of Diggle's eyes again and calmed himself down to a degree.

"Suspension, sorry. Or demotion. I'm aware of your valued position, as well." Oliver's eyes flashed. "However, my previous statements still stand."

Warren kept his mouth shut seeing the harsh glare in his boss's eyes. Oliver continued glaring at him, and that was when the accountant opened his mouth and said, "Yes, Mr. Queen! But I — "

Oliver's phone vibrated. He fished his phone out of his pocket and saw a text message from the woman herself asking of his whereabouts and that she was starving and dying.

Abruptly, he stood up. Warren, panicking, stood up as well, and fear grew in his eyes at the sight of his boss towering over him. His fear grew tenfold once Diggle calmly stood up and exited the booth. Diggle stayed near, though.

Oliver held out his hand to shake, and Warren grasped onto his.

Every night, Oliver put the fear of God in his enemies and saw them visibly shaking at his presence. It never deterred him.

Seeing this man shake gave Oliver at least a sliver of satisfaction — other than Felicity's over-exaggerated and emoticon-filled text.

His eyes slid to the clock of the diner, and he felt his satisfaction grow even more.

Warren's shift was over. (Oliver had demanded to meet with him even though Warren was in a meeting with someone.)

Little by little, Oliver tightened his grip just enough to see Warren's eyes widen and he hissed in pain.

"One more thing, _Warren_." He leaned in close, and if his vigilante persona leaked out at this moment, Oliver allowed it. "I know Felicity can take care of herself. I know that she can ruin your life with a few taps on her tablet. But don't think that she's the only one you have to watch out for. Don't think that when you mess with Felicity Smoak, not only will you have _her _to watch out for — "

Oliver leaned away when he felt his phone vibrate again and knew he had to cut his threat short. Her message contained words in all caps and angry-faced emoticons.

After he pocketed his phone, he smoothed out Warren's buttoned-up shirt casually, ignoring the man's trembles and perspiration. Oliver saw him look at Diggle and thought he was going to cry when he saw Oliver's "bodyguard" eyeing him.

" — you'll have _us _to deal with," Oliver finished, smiling. He clapped a hand on the man's shoulder, causing him to flinch hard, and exited the booth with Diggle in tow.

Once they left the diner, Diggle shook his head amusedly. He held two bags of Big Belly Burger for the three of them.

"What?" Oliver asked while replying back to Felicity's messages of starvation.

"You do know that Felicity broke up with the poor guy _and then _replaced all of his social media pictures with moustachioed kittens?"

The billionaire's eyes were proud for a moment before turning angry. "I know. But Felicity came to the Foundry upset for two days. He stood her up for two dates _in a row_."

"He didn't stand her up; he was just late." But Diggle was angry as well, turning back to glare at the man still afraid to step out the diner.

"Felicity dedicates majority of her free time helping me in keeping this city safe and still manages to attend dates with him on time. He has no excuse."

The two men entered the car and started to drive back to their starving IT genius.

"You acted like her 'bodyguard' back there," Diggle commented while he drove.

"I promised I'd protect her," Oliver replied simply.

"Mm-hmm." A knowing smile slid on Diggle's lips.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"One time, Felicity told me that after he came late, he forgot his wallet, asked her to pay, and then thought it was okay for him to just make out with her. Bastard."

" … I should've broken his fucking hand."

"I would've broken the other, man."

* * *

_— Not all of the guys will be douches, but that doesn't mean they're exempted from the wrath of Felicity's boys._

_Thank you for reading! Feedback is appreciated._


End file.
